Trust and Coincidence

Yesterday pretty much sucked. And the weird thing is, I'm not sure why, although I have a few guesses. I woke up in the morning composing a letter in my mind that I will write to the jerk attorney we fired. That just started me off in a bad mood. After that I drove around the entire city of Ft. Wayne looking for a post office (yes I had looked up directions, which were wrong, and yes I asked for directions, which were also wrong...). Now perhaps my foul mood had something to do with the fact that I didn't get any coffee until around 11 a.m. Quite possible. I think a more plausible explanation, however, is that I was trying to process all the negative junk associated with adoption---both ours specifically and also generally. There are some things that C told me that are hard- things I wish I didn't know, in fact. There is a person in our life who has been extremely negative about us adopting, and I found myself thinking about that a lot. I also locked myself out of my room, which didn't help (although my friends Kaitlyn and Tamesha at the front desk are my new bffs, so not SO bad). The cost of adoption is tremendous, and I just got really pissed at that attorney who is clearly making money off the whole deal and yet can't even fake some compassion.

BUT....

Today was a new day. Over the past 3 months, since we first felt God nudging/shoving us to adopt, there have been too many coincidental things happen to be coincidental. Take this morning. I was working out in the little gym here at my temporary residence and a guy doing his laundry asks me for directions someplace. We got to talking and, of course, our adoption came up. We talked for quite some time before he told me that he and his siblings were raised in foster care. He lived in 8 different homes growing up! His family is staying here for a couple of weeks as his wife just started a new job and they do not have a permanent residence yet. He gave me his insight on foster care, adoption, having biological siblings that he doesn't really know, birthmother issues, etc. Invaluable information from first hand experience. And then he invited me to have dinner with his family that night! They took me to the KFC buffet and it was GOOD. The food and the conversation. His wife and daughter are delightful and funny. Plus they like Dave Ramsey, so of course we are kindred spirits. Found out they are also Christians and actually didn't think I was nutso when I told them that this process of adopting has been a remarkable spiritual journey guided by God himself. They understood. They have had that kind of experience, too. And now I have even more people to bring Asher "home" to that will be so excited to meet him!

Today I also got to hear the sweet sound of my baby's heartbeat for the first time. The setting itself was a bit harried, I will admit. Unfortunately, C's doctor was running very late, which in turn was going to make C very late for an especially important meeting and also for her kids getting home from school. She was frustrated, mad, uncomfortable, and we all knew it! I actually love that about her. You do not have to guess how she's feeling. So the heartbeat part was quite brief. More of a formality for C and for the doctor, but so special for me.

Now, there may be some of my friends reading this who will take offense at what I'm going to say next, but hopefully not. I was a little disgruntled with the doc. You see, he is not an OB specialist. His specialty is family practice. And he's a resident. These things by themselves might not have mattered so much to me except that he kept saying things like, "I will run it by the man," and acting like he was still learning their electronic medical records system. When he said to C, "Oh! We still haven't finished up your past medical history of your other children's births!" I thought I might take over the appointment myself. We have the same EMR at my office, so I'm fairly certain I could have navigated it and entered the appropriate information in half the time....And by the way, doc, I thought YOU were "the man." I mean, you have been C's main doc for her entire pregnancy, right? So if you are a family practice resident, I mean no disrespect. Just don't tell your patients that you have to run things by "the man." It just gives off a weird vibe that makes us not trust you.

On to more positive things....I was able to spend some amazing time with C's 4 1/2 year old son. I'm sure he didn't think it was so amazing, but being able to see what he looks like, learn a little of his personality, and just read him a book are things I'm so grateful for! And he is stinking ADORABLE! Also found out that C's mom is coming into town tomorrow to meet us. She helped C choose our family from the profiles she looked at and also chose Asher's middle name. I just found out today that his middle name will be Gabriel. About cried when she told me. Gabriel was on our short list of possible first names for our baby. I have always loved that name and think Asher Gabriel M sounds just right.

So baby, we are ready for you! Uncertain-of-himself doc will not give us an induction date....despite two irritable women in his office today lobbying for it. Just trying to trust God's timing. So far I would say it's been impeccable.