Happy and Blessed

Yesterday morning was rough. Our three year old had been vomiting since 2 a.m. My husband, being the stats lover that he is, counted. 12 times from 2 a.m. to 8 :45 a.m. Needless to say, none of the three of us got any sleep. Generally when the kids are sick on days both M and I work, he gets to stay home with them. It's hard for me to skip work because I always have a full schedule of patients to see, some of whom have already waited a long time to get in. Normally I'm pretty ok with leaving a vomiting child to go be with adults doing what I love....but yesterday I was just plain exhausted and felt a little like I should be the one to stay home and cuddle with my daughter. And then there was the added undercurrent of stress, knowing that two birthmoms would make a decision that day after reading our profile over the weekend. Admittedly, I was pretty crabby.

When we hadn't heard any news from the agency by mid-morning, I called and left a message for one of the caseworkers and e-mailed the other. My hope that maybe we had been chosen was getting less by the hour. But then she called. First thing she said was, "Guess what?" I think in my near-comatose/post venti latte buzzed state I just couldn't really believe what she was saying right off! The birthmom in Indiana chose us. She's excited about us, in fact!

It's only just hitting me today. We have a baby boy that will be born in about a month. A woman just a little younger than me, with 5 children already, thinks that we will do a good job raising her little boy. Even now it makes me smile and cry at the same time. We are so excited! And terrified. And nervous. And hoping we can stand up under the weight of all that adoption brings, both glorious and excruciating.

I so much want to share our baby's name with everyone. My wise husband, however, wants to wait and be sure that baby's birthmom (that sounds SOOO impersonal now...but for privacy's sake won't use her name)doesn't have any negative associations with it first. We get to meet her by phone on Thursday morning. My mind is racing with questions I want to ask her. And I want her to like us! Anyway, if she is supportive, we will officially announce our baby boy's name on Thursday afternoon :-) Until then....the teaser is the title of this post. Google away, my friends!